Hundreds of years ago, they'd have cut off his hands for stealing bread.

On Monday during 3rd period one of our students, the Hispanic Debbie Gibson, brought in a balloon bouquet and a small chocolate bunt cake. Before the bell rang she told me that her cake was missing.

Veronica and I know it was that emotionally-disturbed kid. Veronica said he was complaining about being hungry and when she escorted him to the restroom, he took a while. She suspects he swiped the cake and ate it in the restroom stall. I feel like such a bastard because Debbie left her cake and purse close to the bad seed's desk and I meant to tell her to move her things. So to put the wrong right for not being attentive, I bought her a replacement cake on Wednesday. I know I've set a precedent and am obligated to do this again if another cake or treat is stolen but Debbie's a real good kid... she's not snotty, she doesn't try to squeeze by doing the bare minimum, she's got no sense of entitlement,... With the exception of the cake thief, most of those kids are all right. Getting a new cake was also my way of saying "Thanks for being a good student. And a happy belated birthday."

What really irritates my co-teacher and me is that neither of us saw the boy take the cake so we couldn't take disciplinary action against him. We just know it's him since he's shown no regard for other peoples' belongings in the past.

Family Guy

A student asked if I was ever going to get married. And prior to that, I've been doing a butt-load of thinking about it.

It just seems that there's a necessity to live with someone. The other day, my Honda got a nail in the rear tire. If I lived alone, I'd have had to take time off to get it fixed. But my dad took me to work and took the car to the dealership for a replacement. I'm not sure how this scenario would have played out with a boyfriend/spouse. I also think about safety issues and how it would be nice to have a second set of eyes and ears around the house. If I was really alone, that's where the dogs would come in. They can't exactly fire a gun, but they can at least bark if someone tries to get into the house. Brandy also tore up a small dog that strayed into our yard a few weeks back so I trust her to attack a human intruder. (Which reminds me, I need to read the Emily Post issue about what to do when one's dog beats the shit out of the neighbor's dog. Does Edible Arrangements do dog-food baskets and bouquets?)

At the same time, I don't want to settle down. I just feel like the wedding cake figures with a ball and chain strapped around their ankles. I'd like a male friend, but just a buddy. A hiking escort, movie friend, maybe shoot pool at the bowling alley. I'll admit: I've got a fear of commitment. Some days when the dogs are needy, I even wonder if I did the right thing getting two of them. It's like raising babies. I don't know if I want a man to add to my responsibilities. And for a public school teacher, I work late. With cutbacks and threats of transferring or letting staff go, there's a damn good reason I've got 15-20 grades for six classes in the gradebooks and why I leave work at six in the evening. Though lately, I've had trouble focusing so that's why I left at seven tonight.

After a lot of thinking, the best thing to do is hire a valet like Woodhouse from Archer, Alfred from Batman, David Spade's assistant from Rules of Engagement. I don't dare say anything verbally to family and friends. It would really make my parents upset.